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No, Means No….

Do you have days where it feels like all you say is “No” to your children? “Don’t do this, don’t do that, share with your brother, don’t mess with the dog, sit down to eat your dinner, are you listening to me”, etc. Well, welcome to our house the past few weeks. Our two little boys are blessings. We love them completely and want nothing but the best for them. However, on days where we are constantly struggling to get out the door on time for school, work , or to listen to each other without interrupting, it sometimes takes a toll on your own spirit. What am I doing wrong as a parent….what am I missing here,…..

passStress in our house has been up ever since J was back in the hospital again a few weekends ago. Trying to ensure that everything is ready for the family just in case something did happen to either J or I has been on both of our minds a lot lately. We want to be sure that no matter what our boys are taken care of, can continue to go to school as we have planned, have everything they will need in life. Don’t get me wrong – ensuring we have everything together is the right approach – but is very stressful at times. I personally don’t like thinking about J leaving us or not being around to see my own kids grow up. This added stress has definitely put some strain on the family.

JD has also been having some issues at home with listening, following through on instructions, not talking back, the list could go on and on. Not sure if other 5 year old boys tend to do this or not but it can be very testing of our patience. With stress and tiredness raised in our household it has allowed for our impatience to grow. Not just with the kids but between J and I too. Stress has this horrible way of turning something that really is a little mistake into a horrible ordeal. Hurtful words, disappointment, closed off from others, etc……why? Feeling that way is no fun. It sucks actually. I hate looking back on how I personally responded and feeling horrible for how I personally acted. Wishing I would of responded differently – took time to breathe and really assessed what I could of said differently, reacted differently. I’ve been in search of guidance, others who have gone through similar situations, and have been happy to find a few resources to use as we work through this period of time.

Something I really want to try and hope will help in our situations in our home – is trying to “Identify with them” – Thank you Real Delia for your Tips For Adulthood: How To Be Less Impatient With Your Kids. We also have a book called – The Explosive Child – that we have been meaning to read now for a few months. I feel this might be something both J and I try cracking open and reading here soon.

We stress the “take a deep breath and count backwards from 5 or 10”. I think Mommy and Daddy are in need of there own teaching and will be working on this too – no issues is worth the amount of frustration or stress we have had in our house lately….and no one is to blame. Shit happens! Excuse my french – but it does. Instead of being determined to “win” or be the one that is “right” I plan on trying to understand – identifying with the person who seems to be having and issue or problem. I want to slow down my response times to things that seem to set me on fire if you will, and try to see things for what they really are. I love my family, I love my husband, and I love my kids with all my heart. We will make it through this as we have many other situations, struggles, challenges God has given us.

I must keep reminding myself – God only give us what he knows we can handle…..We need to think first and then act. We need to embrace this current season of our life….When I’m/We are tired, frustrated, broken, stressed, discouraged, worn-out, and hopeless – I/We need to remind ourselves to talk with God. God will make a way when there seems to be no way.

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