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In my shoes

When we moved to Milwaukee it was a complete change for J and I. We had been married just shy of a year. He had just graduated law school from John Marshall. We had lived in Chicago for a few years and loved it. I was given a great opportunity to work for Kohl’s Department Stores corporate headquarters in their gift card marketing department. It was a dream job! J and I had agreed that if the perfect job came about we would go where we needed to be. When we finally made the decision to take the job and make the move we had no idea that there would be so many changes.

Both J and I had talked many times about having a family and why not! We loved kids and loved the thought of having our own. After we got settled in in Milwaukee we decided, after a few months, to see what would happen. Let God decide if the time was right. Well sure enough it was! I was probably in my current job with Kohl’s for about 5 months when we found out we were expecting. I was shocked at first. I really didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. We were just meeting people, other couples, others who lived in the same complex as ours and getting to really know Milwaukee and what it had to offer us.

Well 9 months came and went and we were blessed with our first born – JD. Wow was having a child completely different. The late nights up and nights with no sleep…..yet we tried to make it work as well as we both could living in Milwaukee and our families both 4-5 hours away. After about 6 months we decided we needed to be closer to our families, our support to help us make our new family better. Its not that J and I couldn’t do it all, we could however it was hard for us and very trying with no one really to call in need of some help at times.

We quickly realized that life changes. Having a family changes things. Your free time to lay on the couch on a lazy Sunday to watch football is no longer available when you have a little one to take care of that depends on you. Going out on a Saturday night and not doing much the next day, probably isn’t the best mix when you have a child who needs you. We slowly felt a pull away from our friends, not because we were no longer cool to hang out with but that we had different priorities, different needs to make sure were met. Have you felt this too?

Now speed forward tshoeso now – we have been back in Springfield for at least 5 years now. As much as we miss the city of Chicago and the Milwaukee offerings we know being here is best for our family. J has been able to really develop his career and I in the marketing world. We are both busy with our jobs, but more importantly busy with our boys. Soccer, basketball, parents club, grant committee, etc. We get to see our families at least once a week if not more.

Friends every now and then depending on everyone’s schedules. A fully scheduled, heck-it and rewarding life.

I think many readers might be able to relate to my story of how life changes once children enter the picture. I think something I wish those who did not have children could walk “in my shoes” at least once. Life as a parent is busy, demanding, constantly going and rewarding all at the same time. I love my time with my children! They are my world and I wouldn’t change a thing. God gave this life to me and everything in it. I enjoy it all! The good and the bad….and everything in the middle.

My advice to those who do not have children – please try to think about your friends with children. Be “in their shoes” every now and then. Realize that sometimes it take a few extra calls, a few extra texts, emails, whatever it is to stay connected. You’re not bothering your friends with kids. If anything you are giving them a moment of adult time that might actually be needed. And realize that if you ask us to do something once be sure to follow up with them before deciding they aren’t interested, cant go, etc. You never know when in reality they may be waiting for you……


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